As a fashion designer I have used fashion as my art and form of expression. I never got really into depth on one of the life changing traumas that I faced in my life, which was domestic violence. With this article I want to help women all around the world and tell my story, something I have got through and fought to get over the pain that I held in.
I have forgiven and not let it scar me. Scars only determine where we have been not where were going. I decided to grow and use that to make me the strong woman I stand here today. I would like to start with hang in there, never think you deserved what has happened. The person who is causing you pain is the one who is feeling the most pain and is broken. I’ve went through abuse where I could have lost my life if I stood there. I lived my life with anger, hate and fear of opening up to a man because of the pain I endured. I was in a bad place for many years of my life where I felt worthless and this was happening because I didn’t have a purpose. Which was the complete opposite because God gives the hardest battles to the strongest soldiers. I blocked every negative thought and pushed towards what set my soul on fire and what I loved the most and that was fashion. Instead of filling and dwelling on things that weren’t true. I changed my thinking and replaced the bad thoughts with I am a warrior and a fighter and I vowed to not hold on to what was but what is. I want to empower women that are going through this exact situation and think that they cannot get out. You are a queen, valuable and you deserve the moon, stars and universe, not pain that is not love. I know at the moment it really hurts but you are strong and you can overcome this. Don’t let the pain and struggle you are going through make you a victim but make you a survivor. The physical pain is temporary, what hurts most is the emotional pain. I stand here today a strong, positive vibrant woman.
My goal with this is to empower women and let them know because what has happened to you does not determine where you are going. I’m writing my story to help you. I was down and out, Although the physical pain was gone because I walked away from my abuser because I knew I deserved better and I was worth more and I loved my life. I still held on to the internal pain for many years after that, I was toxic and would lash out on anyone who I really gotten close to. One day I got up and I was tired of living my life in darkness, we are the only ones would can change the route of where we are going. I’ve always loved fashion the art where it didn’t have any rules and you could express yourself freely though a piece of clothing. That’s where I changed and decided to follow my dreams. I’ve never expressed this part of my life , and I felt it was time that I do because of what I went through it has made me the woman I am today. I want the battle that I faced and the battle that women are dealing with all around the world make me someone else hero. You are strong, you are a rock. I once thought of myself as unlovable because I didn’t was to get hurt by a person I let my walls finally down to. I had a fear of getting hurt after I explained my pain. I deleted and threw that thought in the garbage because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I’m going to let the world know a couple things and finally share my past and how it led me to the woman I am now. Even in the hard time instead of thinking negatively I look for light in EVERY bad situating. I was with someone that was more broken then I imagined a person could be, and in that person being internally damaged I suffered the consequences. I felt degraded as a woman. I decided that I didn’t want that life and decided to value myself more than that. Something that was so disgusting,. I want whoever is reading this to be strong and hold on.
Don’t be scared to love the next person because what you have endured just be cautious of signs of an abuser. There are many red flags you can see in a abuser as far as jealousy, control and verbal it not always is physical but it can be in a way your “spouse” speaks to you degrading you. Unrealistic expectations such as An abuser expects the victim to meet all of the abuser’s needs, to take care of everything emotionally and domestically. Isolation An abuser will attempt to isolate the victim by severing the victim’s ties to outside support and resources. The batterer will accuse the victim’s friends and family of being “trouble makers.” The abuser may block the victim’s access to use of a vehicle, work, or telephone service in the home. An abuser will blame others for all problems or for the abuser’s own shortcomings. Someone is always out to get the abuser or is an obstacle to the abuser’s achievements. The victim or potential victim will be blamed for almost anything. An abuser will use feelings to manipulate the victim. Common phrases to look for: “You’re hurting me by not doing what I want.” “You control how I feel.” An abusive person is easily insulted, perceiving the slightest setbacks as personal attacks. Do not avoid signs, break the cycle and just be pre-cautious. Don’t ever feel like your everyone you meet in the future will be like the person who done this to you. Some ways of breaking the cycle is you may be stuck in painful relationship, the cycle can be broken. What is important is taking immediate action to secure your safety and well-being. Be sure to make a detailed plan for how to break the cycle of abuse. Once you break it, don’t look back; just move on the best you can and know that a better relationship and a better life can await you in the future.
You are amazing, beautiful and you have a purpose! Get out seek help and don’t hold in the pain express yourself don’t let what you went through make you bitter but let it make you better. I hope with this article it saves a life or many. Know your worth and know that you have the power not your abuser they are lost. No matter how painful the past, look towards the future. The rainbow always appears after the rain.
Gabriela Rosado
-Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth, walk away and to a better future.
To see more of my work and accomplishments visit http://bit.ly/2sk2lcZ
Instagram: @BreakBreadFashions & @Gabriella Ross
Credits:
Model: Aurora Ball (instagram: @Auroraaa_b)
Photographer: Daniel Seth Pagel (Instagram: @daniel_seth_pagel )
Designs: Break Bread Fashion (Instagram: @BreakBreadFashions
Designer/CreativeDirector/Writer: Gabriela Rosado (Instagram: @gabriella__ross )
Hair: Tomomi Iwata (Instagram: Tomomi_iwata)
Mua: Celin Paulino-Correa (@makeupqueencelin)
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